The conventional relationship model has been taken over by a dominant Feminist narrative in a modern society.
The relationship model is originally structured to create stability with a man as the facilitator and the male-female relationship destabilizes with feminism placing the woman as the center of the narrative where the biological premise, however, has not changed.
There are different gender qualities for men and women and the conventional relationship model utilizes and thrives upon these differences.
MEN posess traits such as: confidence, logic, physical strength, industriousness, ambition, creativity, curiousity, humor and focus.
All of these traits have historically been utilized through personal and professional skills for hunting, farming, hard physical labor, leadership, negotiating, decision making, engineering, protecting and supporting the family.
WOMEN posses traits such as: beauty, youth, sensuality, being family-oriented, playfulness, impulsiveness, vulnerability, intuition, empathy, and attention to detail.
These traits are utilized through skills for child-caring, supporting her husband in supporting the family, taking care of the home, cooking
In general, the differences between the two genders are meant to cultivate the other gender and balance out the power imbalances in a relationship.
The relationship narrative is actually very rigid because its functionality is based on men and women’s instinctual biological preferences about the other gender. With Feminism trying to place its ideals of equality onto a construction based on our inherent programming and innate gender qualities, it makes the gender dynamics within that frame go into conflict with each other because our instincts and biological programming remains the same, no matter the popular social trends which idealists might be promoting at any given time.
As I said in the start, the traditional relationship facilitated by a man, has been altered by Feminism in the name of equality, yet there is nothing equal for either party in a feminized relationship with a women who controls the narrative.
If a man enters a relationship with a woman in her thirties today, he will very often be faced with a fully established Feminist narrative that conflicts with his purpose and intinctual appointed role as a man – still with a female expectation for him to create attraction between them based upon the gender dynamics founded upon their gender differences which she has destabilized by taking the traits of the man.
- She has an apartment or a house which she either rents or owns
- She has a car
- She has one, two or three children (with one or more men from past relationships)
- She has a full-time or part-time job
- She has hobbies
- She has pets
- Beyond that she of course has her friends and family whom are very important as well.
- The modern woman is a busy woman who often have very little time to devote to a partner – yet she wants to complete the image of the perfect family
This narrative is already established by the woman. She occupies both her own female position as well as several important aspects of the male position.
A man will have to be extraordinary to be able to co-define a relationship like this on equal terms
- You would have to make a lot more money than the single mother – providing you with authority and the right to veto financial decisions
- You would have to be assertive to challenge her instinctive self-interest as a mother
- You would have to be good at arguing against her word as a mother (the children are first priority and she represents them as a mother – and it is assumed that she thinks of what is best for her children)
- You would have to be one step ahead of her agenda to do the things that you want to do (women need to feel in control, so plan ahead at least six months to beat her schedule)
- You would have to be desired by other women to make her afraid to lose you (women want what other women want – which creates your leverage)
For the ordinary man, all you can do is place your shoes in the hallway and put down your sportsbag in the bedroom. You own nothing and you essentially control nothing in such a narrative.
What can a man contribute to such a picture, other than clean the gutter of HER house, change the oil on HER car or replace the washing machine in HER kitchen.
If – or when the relationship ends, he will have to leave all of his contributions to the relationship and the evidence of his existence behind because everything else in the narrative belongs to the woman.
This gives the woman all the space and freedom she may desire but it leaves the man limited and impaired. In his own eyes and in the eyes of the woman. Not to mention the eyes of the woman’s children. The little girls’ future male image and understanding of relationship dynamics is formed to empower her future adult female role on behalf of the man and the little boys’ future male self is warned that you are a mere tenant in a relationship with a woman.
The girl learns that a man is someone who comes and goes and has little to contribute and that he cannot be relied upon.
The boy learns that a man is a foreign element without power and the woman is the dominant figure in his world.
When the relationship with a single mother ends, his relation to her children – his emotional commitment – is severed to not only his partner but her children too.
I have noticed several examples where men deal with the emotional hardship of not only parting from his partner but also having to say goodbye to her children with a sudden end or a following process of detachment.
For the woman the ex-partner is now a problem that has to be disposed of. If a new man enters her life the previous suitor is in the way if he keeps in contact with her children. Neither she nor the new man will want him around.
The childrens emotional ties to the man rarely matters since the mother automatically argue that the interests of the child are the same as her self-interest. After all, she is a mother.
In short, the modern woman seeks freedom in opportunity by acquiring the traits of the man in a Feminist narrative which castrates the man and leaves him with no ability to exercise his gender qualities.
So, with a Feminist setup women unknowingly sabotage themselves because they redesign gender roles while ignoring human nature and gender qualities as the premise for stable relationships. Holding Feminism accountable is telling women that they are responsible for their own problems and men are not obligated to solve their issues.
Until women understand this and take responsibility, men should take their precautions with dating and relationships.